Changes

There have been a few changes in my life lately that have really got me thinking and stressing. I have been really glad with the way my life has been going. I am working, I have a new house, a new car, and can pretty much do what ever I want. It's just Trevor and I and I love it that way. That was until January 26th... That was the day that changed everything. I was sitting at home by self just watching T.V when I had to pee. So I get up, and on my way to the bathroom  I think to myself "I am just gonna take a pregnancy test just for the heck of it." I was a little late, but didn't really think anything of it because I didn't think it was possible. And yet...there it was. The scariest word. "Pregnant".

I was so shocked, confused, a little angry, and really scared. We wanted to wait at least a few more years before having a kid. We did think that we were ready last year. Trevor and I started trying in February 2011. That lasted 9 months and we had no luck so we gave up. I got over it, and the more time that passed, the more I didn't want one. So why now? Why after months of trying did we not get one? I guess it was just our time. It has taken me a while to get used to the idea. I am still scared, but I am so excited. Things are starting to just fall into place and I know that it's right. We get a house, we have 2 dependable cars, and great jobs with benefits. The only problem was that we weren't sure if I could stop working and still be ok. I was really stressed about that for weeks. Then, Trevor was approached by someone in his office about a job opening in a new department. He went in for an interview, and got the job. Needless to say, it is enough of an increase that I will now be able to stay home. I was so grateful for that. It was perfect timing and couldn't just be a coincidence. I know that God provides a way, and He definitely has for us. We are truly blessed. 

I had my first appointment on February 22nd and got to hear the heart beat. It was really cool. We obviously got a print out of the ultrasound, as does everyone else. You can't even tell it's a baby though! 

I went in for my second appointment on March 20th and again heard the heart beat, but a lot louder! 

I also found out that I have some issues with my Thyroid Stimulating Hormone so my doctor had to put me on medication for it, which I have to take every freakin day and I am not happy about it! I hate pills! I found out at my first appointment that my TSH levels were too high. So I took the medication for 30 days and when I got tested again, it was even higher! I know it's probably nothing to be worried about, but he did say that if it was not treated before 20 weeks it could affect the baby's IQ. Although it is being treated, it's not resolved or even at normal levels so I am still a little freaked out. I am sure it will work out but until then... I will worry. I have been feeling pretty good, just exhausted. I am 14 weeks so far and am really not showing at all. I guess I can wait to get big :) You can tell when I am not wearing jeans, or if I really have to pee... so here it is! There's my tiny bump. 

I am so terrified. I am trying not to focus too much on what it will be like yet, because it really scares me. All the what if's... If I just ignore those fears, it makes it a little easier to cope with. I will just take it day by day for now and do my best! I know that everything will work out! After all, I am bringing a life into this world, and that is truly a miracle. The gift of life is the most beautiful creation.