January's IUI failed. February came and it was time to get started again. I had a large cyst and had a month of birth control. March is here and my cyst is gone and I am back on Clomid. That's my problem. I am SO SICK. I have been in bed ALL day trying my hardest not to throw up. I can't eat much, can't drink much, and can't stand up for more than a few minutes before wanting to pass out. I have three more doses to take, and I am trying to convince myself not to quit. I want to stop taking it right now so that I might stop being sick sooner. But if I want another shot at having a baby I need to take it. I need to keep going. My husband has been so nice to me. He came home from work early to take care of Lincoln so I could rest. They are my everything. Lincoln is my constant reminder that it will be worth it, that it IS worth it. He has given me more purpose in life than I ever thought possible. Being a mother is absolutely the best thing I could have done with my life. I know it feels like I might die right now, but it will be better soon, I hope.
On a happier note, I had a great birthday. I had lunch with one of my dearest friends who spoiled me. We then played at the park with my sister. The weather keeps teasing us, and when it does we go to the park. Trevor and I got a couples massage, then had dinner at Tucanos.
One more note, I don't write these posts so that people will feel sorry for me, I write them because I just want to share my story. A lot of people don't like to talk about their infertility, but I am not one of those people. If you catch me within a few days of finding out another cycle failed, I might cry, but I am open and honest and just trying to make it through, like so many other women and men who may have the same trial, or different ones. Life is full of tough times, but I am trying so hard to stay positive and to love the life I have in the midst of those times. Tomorrow is another day, and I pray it will be one when I'm not sick!
XOXO-thanks for reading.
Life is always full of ups and downs, but it is how we deal with those downs that helps us become stronger and better. You are strong Abbey. You are not throwing in the towel. Keep the faith. Love you.
ReplyDelete